When you see another person clearly, sometimes you realize that the relationship needs to change to match what you can actually count on. This goes two ways: a relationship that's bigger than its real foundation is a set-up for disappointment and hurt, while a relationship that's smaller than its foundation is a lost opportunity. In both cases, focus on your own initiative, especially after you've made reasonable efforts to encourage change in the other person.
For example, you usually can't make a coworker stop being dismissive of you, but you can "shrink" the relationship-- so it's closer to the size of its true foundation--by minimizing your contacts with him, doing an excellent job on your own, building up alliances with other people, and arranging for the quality of your work to be seen widely. Conversely, if there is a large foundation of love in your marriage but your mate is not that emotionally nurturing, you can try to "grow" the relationship on your own by paying particular attention to when he expresses caring through his actions and soaking that into your heart, by drawing him deeper into situations with a culture of warmth (e.g. dinner with friends, certain kinds of live music, meditation group) and perhaps by being more emotionally nurturing yourself.
-- Buddha's Brain, p.152-153
The practice of yoga has a vast, ancient foundation. We grow our relationship to yoga by practicing. We grow our relationship to the poses by paying attention, breathing in them, sensing, moving in and out of them slowing, making them our own, etc.
